Hi Greg. Great to see you again. Thanks so much for coming to round four of our preliminary interviews. We like to be really confident about the team members we‘re going to spend most of our time with—it’s not just some well-intentioned guessing game like we play when choosing neighbors or family. Let’s get started.
First, we look for candidates who are truly passionate about their craft. Tell me about some hobby diseases you’ve treated in your free time.
You’re obviously a talented neurosurgeon with a gift for solving complicated problems, but we’re also looking for a great fit for our hospital culture. Do you like paintball?
What new illnesses have you had this year?
We’d all love if project schedules worked out perfectly, but things don’t always work out that way. Tell me about some Day 1 illnesses you’ve had to fix after your patients were released.
Would you be willing to use a new language on the job invented by our chief medical officer? I’ve been asked to mention that he no longer works here.
Are you someone who needs extensive documentation on your patients, or are you cool? Follow-up question: do you mind if I vape?
What’s something you don’t like about our current patients?
Assuming we decided to extend an offer based on your years of specialized surgical training and experience, would you be willing to come on as a patient for a short probationary period? This will really help you get a feel for the way we do things here.
Finally, we like to see what candidates are capable of. Would you be willing to take a critically ill man home over the weekend to show us what you can do? Please complete the exercise with integrity and refrain from consulting with any peers or medical texts.
Thanks as always for your time. We may consider you for up to six months if any roles open up!
Todd Mitchell is a US Midwest-based comedy writer and game developer with bylines at Weekly Humorist, Fanbyte, Slackjaw, End of the Bench Sports, and more. He’s the author of Inside Video Game Creation, the founder of CodeWritePlay, and host of the GameDev Breakdown podcast. Follow him on Twitter @Mechatodzilla.